Season by Season: The Legendary Eric Randall Matthews
Jack: Do you know how much a “dime” is?
Eric: I know the lingo. A dime’s fourteen dollars and fifty cents.
Jack: A dime is a thousand dollars.
“Don’t treat me special because I’m a woman! I’m not your mother, I’m your roommate! …Now hit Jack with the pie.”
Rachel: You know what, I can’t do this! I can’t! You have to be yourselves so I can be myself.
Jack (to Eric): If she’s telling the truth our lives are perfect!
Eric (to Jack): Yeah, well she’s not. She’s testing us. Just stick with the plan.
Rachel: STOP! Stop planning! And ugh, stop acting like I can’t hear you!
Eric: …We’re afraid to be ourselves.
Jack: ‘Cause we’re slobs. There, I said it.
Rachel: And you’re afraid that I can’t handle it, right?
Eric: Oh, you could never handle it.
Rachel: Oh, because I’m a woman? Because I’m a woman, you think you’re going to offend me or something. Well, you know what? I could be just as big a slob as the two of you.
Eric: That’s insane!
thanks for the suggestion @whore-ayy!
Amy: I’m seven and a half months pregnant. I waddle. I can hear my thighs rub together like a human cricket.
Eric: Eww. My mommy said “thighs rub together”.
Amy: Do you still love me?